The Knight's lil' Shrine

First, something I should have posted before...

2005-05-30T23:32:21Z

... being that I wrote it during my trip to my beachouse, and forgot to post here...

Ok, so I got home only one day ago, and it has been crazy here, but....

I had forgotten how beautiful it is there.

It began with some bad news like my old shorts, which I had for, what, some 7 years, some of them, not quite fitting. And they did in 2004's january! One year on my new home, all in the comp... one year >_> People actually compliment me, though, for getting a 'manly build' instead of my previous slimness.... which I am working to get back!

And the quest for the lost bishy physique continues, with my body aching all around^^;; I run to the pier and back more than once every day... oddly enough, all achy, and yet, all the ache vanishes when I begin to run. Lots of push-ups and the like too... with some tips from a certain friend of my bro's... achy, but fine ^^

I feel... clean. Well. Very well.

People see change in me in those few 5 days. I don't. But I will keep this up when I get back... I had forgotten how much this place is my sanctuary. My place to think, to create... and now, really, my spa to boot!

And the 17+ hours trip, 1K kilometers away from home( tremble, europe-dwellers! ) was quite nice. Got to see an accident with brains all spilled on the road. It looked like... jelly, really. Odd sight...

And back to the beauty...

I realised all that on Sunday's twilight. Past the Rio Do Ouro( River of gold ), on the high tide, I ran... and back, meeting my brother where I had came, to swim in the sea ( Extra-salty and warm, here, oddly warm, opposite of Rio, or anywhere else I know, really! ), and then... the sun began to set. To the sea, there was the Moon. Day before the Full Moon, it was high up against an insigo sky, with a whirlwind of clouds pressed against the sky and pink all around it, from the horizon up to the Moon... I looked north, and the indigo sky became clear-blue, salmon cloud going up to the other side, my back... where the sun set, coloring the horizon behind the pines a flaming orange behind twirls of darkest-gray clouds, rose colors at the flame's edge. And me there, chatting with my bro and cooling my body on warm water.

The kind of moments where you realise how beautiful the world can be. I rarely ever saw such a beautiful sunset even there... and it really remembered me of there.

Next time I feel dubious about coming. FORCE ME! PUNCH ME!

This place is food for the SOUL!

Mon was first night of full moon, but the south wind begun to blow. As you might know, south here is the pole's direction, so that is the cold wind bringing the cold cloudies. I decided to run on it, and I ran north to the pier( Or the great bones of the behemoth – once, you could walk to the end – I did, as a child. Now, the practical monument that lasted hundreds of years is now just a bunch of spines on the ground, pointing up to nowhere... )... so I came back going south. And met the brunt of it, against the wind.

It was like constantly being shot by a machine gun, really. Even made me stop running by the end O.o And while I ran... ever been on a beach, all open, 180 degrees of clear sky, and saw a dark, great
cloud? How it looms over you, great and terrible, greater than few things you can imagine... so great.

What is relevant because, by the end of last night... I saw another masterpiece of god.

Last night, the wind begun to blow north again. So the clouds... huge, they marched south. So many of them. So many.

I stood at the edge of my house... the end of the spiky grass, above the makeshift wall that only goes to the 'ground' down to the beach( house's open ), looking at the low tide ( it.. changes. You have what ammounts to a whole city block of sand and coral reefs and mini-lagoons on it in front of it on the low tide, and a sea that hits against the makeshift wall and explodes high( and it is what I am looking at NOW, bless dad's wife laptop to death^^)... I stood there at the low tide, and the Full Moon was behind the clouds, shining on the ocean behind the last reef wall like the light beneath a UFO far away... and illuminating all clouds, making them all silver on the sky. Making the sky silver, with an army of silver and dark marching south, an army that took over my whole sky.

It was epical, it made me feel so small, and at the same time... gifted.

And then, the moon shone again through the clouds, making a direct trail, Full, to me, and I could read in its light. Could read my shirt, and would be able, although unhealthy, to read a book in such powerful, pure moonlight.

Lovelovelove!^_^

Sooo, I gushed enough. I am sorry that I bored you all to death, IF you read this...

Just... wanted to share

To say I was loving this.

And that, at every moment, I thought of you. Odd plans involving milady and my friends, thinking of the Parishioner's resources and his role on Selina's mission with Void's Puppeteer, about Sati, Daughter of estruction, about her mate, about a surprise for Cael and Vorpy( NOT that one, kraky! ), It's gonna Rain, prophecies... and... sooo, soooo, SOOOO much... ^^

( A slight changed version of the e-mail I sent a few people... )

The rest was just fun, though not that much. Lots of wind, a promised horseback riding that was pushed back... and stuffs.

Back home. And still exercising. Shows me that... heck...

It was so good to go. And maybe, being out of shape was the best that ever happened to me. I was slim, and never cared about it. As soon as I get my shape back with the exercises I am making, I will be more healthy and defined than I have ever been. Needed to fall to get the determination to climb higher, I guess?

A Dance of Angels!^_^

2005-03-16T09:16:48Z

And lo and.... BEHOLD!

It took me a long time, really.... it begun with Fated in Dark Stars, I think. My Dragon-Blooded game on Varang(Still have to up the Varangian stuff I came up with, sometime! Their castes based on the maidens, royal family, weird places like... restaurants!), on how the Dynasts and their Sidereal would help it in a time of political instability and try to hold their allies together, even while regarded as outsiders in the worst sense of the world... or, well, die trying. Servants of Ligier wanted to take the place over due to its Royal Palace being atop a First Realm Arsenal, the Dead also wanted it, so... Demon-Blooded, Demons, Abyssals... anything would go! ... But, it didn't quite go. Many months, many prologues, a trip by ship, but it ended, to give way to A Dance of Angels.

Four months now, is it? I don't remember anymore when it begun. It began slow, I was more scattebrained than I could ever be.... so. Very. Slow. And I STed at my worst, too. Took me all those months... all those 4 months... to simply get where I should have just began Many arguments between me and milady, even if I am spinning this tale for her. Arcy having so little time, and being a curmudgeon alot of the time... and Grey's love of mortals and unassuming, unflashy and unadventurous people making one char go away and almost damning a second. Four months of much fight... until now.

Now, everything seems... clear. The game is going. The arguments, mostly buried. Met many new people who bring the mostly-wanted Shinyness for the game... and understanding the very very very crunchy system of Exalted more and more. And it is satisfying to understand more of it... very satisfying. Things WORK at long last! And seems like they simply began to. Splitting the group at least 3-ways, seeing people duplicate their characters... this grows more by the minute, and I suppose that, sooner or later, it will be grander than I ever imagined.

I suppose I will be smiling even wider than I am now, then.

It... it still heavily in construction, but hey... I am making it. I am doing it. It is working.

Somehow, everything seems simpler, clearer and nicer now.

It is so... good.

And without much more wait... I give you....

A DANCE OF ANGELS!

Busy Posting Night!

2005-03-16T08:38:57Z

So, it turns out that, when you get up to do something useful at long last, reality conspires against you.

Or something like that.

I finally decided to go and do the Vestibular... the dreaded and ultra-hard university entrance tests here. Studied little, and yet, I got through. Yay! Only... seemed like there was one subject from high school I was missing, since I dropped half-way and did them in separate tests. I had been totally lazy on beating down my longtime completely ignored adversary, chemistry(The only subject in which I knew next to nothing, and so couldn't just disregard and use common sense to beat into submission like I did the others). Then, thankfully postponing my entrance to an Uni to the next semester, I went to finish chemistry! ... Only, not.

It begins with the fact I need to go to the mountains to finish there since the course here is just... chaotic. Then, you follow up with the fact my school certificate vanished wholly. And the school that had it died somewhere along the way... well, one in which I was in transition. So, the one I did most of High School in, the CEAT caslte( Yes, it is in a castle. Tres cool^^ Old memories of skipping classes there, amidst the mountains, together with the musicians and the pot-smoking surf guys to talk and laugh...) is the way to go... except since I left father never paid the last two months, and so they want him to pay to give the doc... and he doesn't want to. War is coming, and when actually taking out the problems was seeming so easily...

... Life overcomplicates and takes it out of my hands. Yay?

It's good to remember the CEAT while I write this, though... even changed me mood!

But still, it is annoying how the world seems to want things fixed, but overcomplicates everything when I set out to fix them...

Hmmm... Birthdays!^_^

2005-02-01T23:57:40Z

Man.... some birthdays are.... JUST.... :O

INCREDIBLE!^_^

Mom made Brownies, mom made cake... both TASTY! She rules at that! So, so, SO tasty!

All my friends sent messages to my orkut community, wishing me happy birthday!

Talked to the Fae again, left testimonials to my friends, got the happy b-day messages from them... just...

Seeing how they missed me and stuffs... Fernanda sad because we made no 'Dannystock' this year. All talking about missing me...

I have to stop being an hermit. I just have to... sometime^^;

Father showed up... I got a shirt with a fish design in it, picked by lil' bro on a nice store by father's wife, because lil' bro loves loves loves Nemo( least it was a real fish, in this one - beige and orange, sounds weird, but looks really... neutral. And soothing!)... and we talked... and we hugged... It was just so... emotional.

Hmmm, I ate on the BEST japanese restaurant EVER!^_^

So... much new things....

I also found out I can become a vegetarian!

Ate some specially-preapred Shitake all fried on... a chapa? That tasted like meat! Maybe even tastier!

Sansaki rolls, hot philadelphia, some chicken a la golden shanghai or something O.o

And.... mother and father almost cried... we said plenty of good things... even more emotion. Cannot remember the last time I had such a great time with both of them together, no fights, just... reminiscence... and fun! And I almost burst, so much I ate... god... I still feel full. And that was yesterday :o

It wasn't eventful. It wasn't another 'Dannystock', with the house full of my friends, drunkeness and intensity...

But they were all with me, where it counted. They were all with me, wishing me well... my parents were there, being emotive...

It wasn't intense or exciting, but was... happy! =^..^=

And I am overdoing emoticons today. Yay!

Arcy got me all of 'Stormwatch' what means... that I can now show to people it's Warren Ellis run!

Now, do I present my friends with the cliched superhero begginings, advising them it will be better later, or do I give them it from the point it gets good, epical and realistic/gritty at the same time?

How to do, how to do...

Well, I will think of it when teh niceness passes!^_^

The one thing that gives me a happy sort of melancholy, is that all this charmed life, and milady will not take part of it. She will be so far away, and at my arm's length.... I know all of it, but I will keep dreaming and wishing. Hey, maybe someday... someday.... !^^

My entries!!!!!!!!!

2004-10-01T10:49:04Z

.... My entries vcanished!

Ok, not that they were much, but... or many.... but my LJ entries vanished O.o

Weird....

Hmmm :o

2004-07-21T03:01:45Z

Something I stole shamelessly from Autumn :

Doesn't always come out like you want, ne? Wish milady would end up as the partner or the big-breasted, but also this will amuse her to no end :D

Oh, and on the last post, I mistook Darius with Kurshine... my bad!

Mrah!

2004-07-18T21:44:56Z

... Sometimes, you know you are running against Fate.

And Fate REALLY doesn't like to be thwarted.

Of course, as anyone who knows me knows, not even fate tends to stay my hand when I want to do something.

Specially when it's related to Milady. Yes, I am insane =P

I wasn't really into the idea of going to Mauro's going-away party, even if I felt I had to [ He's going to spend a whole year in Montreal.... you know, I will NEVER understand how people of the northern hemisphere work - how does it happen that a school year begins in the middle of a year and ends in the next? >_> Weird northern-hemisphere people.... well, after a little argument here and there and a small almost-unrelated panic attack, I did manage to go... the two-hour trip never seemed so... LONG.

It was... interesting, there. The party itself was fun - lots of cousins and people from Mauro's college I knew nothing about^^;; Of course, there were also the cousins of his' I knew... one friend I always like to see... one, I hadn't seen in ages. The thin one, and the fat one. Of course, the difference wasn't so stark anymore, I remember when the fat one was like, some 3 of every one of us. Now we are all about the same height with him, and he doesn't seem to big anymore. Well, the barbecue was good, juicy and _tasty_, even if under cold and RAIN! Would help if we didn't need to take all the rain until my friend's house, on the top of a friggin' and there my moist clothes did wonders to FREEZE me there >_>

In the end, the people from Mauro's college, and us( but nobody from the old Kung-Fu crowd - these are the 'zen' crowd =P) took him by his arms and legs, and threw him on the pool =P In a cold, cold, rainy day! "If you think this is cold, Canda is going to be much worse!!" That was... ~fun~!^_^ Everybody laughed, including him.... yep, that was the moment ro remember!

Talked alot to my friends about Exalted too... so much cool stuff to tell them! We kept imagining how to convert our old chars to Exalted, in the manner I made Janus... Exalted is *so* us!

For example, you have the friend who, in a game where people had great powers and blew up walls, had the normal human martial artist[ 'The Unforgiven']. Though, he was full of tricks... while the energy-guy could just blow a tank-ish enemy with a 9D+ blast of power, the martial artist would run close to a cliff or up a building, and just judo-throw said brick from up there =P So, of course, he didn't have infallibly stuff, but playing smart... which is why he is making a DB! With stuff like 'safety among enemies', he is sure to take the best out of them.... his usual partner, the guy with the blast( they were kinda like Batman and Superman) was a human who ascended to godhood - to tell the truth, GURPS didn't have rules for god-power, for the benefits of a cult, benefactions, or the immaterial estate and all... well, it sorta did, but they were too complicated >_> And said god of energy will be _perfect_ on Exalted...^^

And 'Colapso', the name I take on the 'net? little boy, chosen by the 'fabric of space-time' to fix problems with space, time and reality. He had powers to do with fate, entropy, and time... and being able to teleport to it, a sanctuary, a place to learn, a place where his boss was. Quite like a Sidereal, don't you think?

They all fit... actually, we always did 'Exalted-y' stuff - which, Mieu and co. is why we like 'em so much^_^

Doubt it? I mentioned some from my friends from rl, but I could mention the BoF RP ones, couldn't I? Lesse....^_^

Alexander Holysword - Any doubt? Zenith Caste Solar all the way to poor Al! With Lvl 5 artifacts, auras that destroy undeads and dark creatures, and endurance/resistance charms from his Celestial Element charge. Including a Great Curse break at some point....^^ He even had a symbol on his forehead, originally!

Kenji Kusanagi - A Fiery DB, of course! Up to his oriental-like society from afar( he's from Lookshy?) the importance of his family... Fire fire fire! And Red Jade trinkets^_^

Lucien Devereaux - Dusk Caste Abyssal. 'Nuff said. You can even see all his charms there :D

Aleph - Old No Moon Lunar. 'Nuff Said. The Spells to talk with plants and whatnot do exist.

Delwyn Snow - Hmmm.... tricky one! Probably a God-Blooded with power from an ice spirit. Or an Air DB with more icy overtones...

Celestia - A spirit! That *is* what she is, after all^^ In permanent possession of a girl!^^

Sora and Nick - Of course, Air DBs out for aaaddddvvveeenture!

And Arkham was just a walking soulsteel artifact. Up to the details of how you could see the souls of people on his darkness. Really, he was done in the *same* way.

And Milady's?

Witch Clanners - In general, Elementals. Naturally material spirits, with a flair to Terrestrial Magic, and, breaking the rules for them, maybe Celestial as well!^_^ They *are* elementals, after all...^^

Celestine - Dawn Caste. Like Al, she even has the great curse :o

Serena - Midnight Caste Abyssal. With Necromancy working in the same way. Yay for her^^

Sanya - Either a powerful, third circle demoness, or a Demon-Blooded with Abyssal Exaltation. The powers to suck souls and all are right there...

Aveline - A Air DB sorceress possessed by a Malfean. Couldn't be simpler. Same sort of dead power, too. =P

Anna - Frisky Demon-Blooded girl. Up to her power-level relative to the rest....

Simple, no? And some of the others.... just so you guys see it^^

Reina Ducates An Akuma[Infernal Exalted] with a big Patron rating. An Akuma gets great power, but she has a problem - they can be possessed by the demon who exalted them at any moment - they lack their free will. Remember anyone? Up to the mark on her forehead, an infernal familiar, and a real faithful Daiklave!

Izzy Anomen Especially trained Air DB with icy-y powers, and a MA style all of his own...^^

Sangoful - Third circle demon. 'Nuff said.

Katrina - She certainly uses a large Moonsilver Daiklave, praciting a Celestial MA style all of her own with it - she is either a Fae-Blooded, or a Sidereal - being that the way those of the Silver Path are chosen is the same as with the way Sidereal are.

Coin - An old elemental dragon and his faerie companion, enjoying their time in the sun...^^

Zalia Firestrike - Fiery-DB sorceress, even trained on something like the Heptagram!

Elizabeth Holysword - A God-Blooded martial artist... I even made her sheet! Many cool MAs to use, and the Holysword's aura just fits so many stuff in Exalted...^^

Jonas - Artifact-Heavy Abyssal.. quite artifact-heavy :o

Darius - Fire DB ex-immaculate monk. Up to how he matched with Jonas >_>

Brevin - Abby Necromancer - High-essence enough so it screwed with his appearance.... hmmm... or maybe just a Nemessarie( ghost who posseses the dead) who somehow got necromancy.

*Goes on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and ON.....................................*

Ok, you got the idea, riiiiiight?

Well then, after I got away from the party, I walked down the hill in the rain... and more rain... and RAIN >_> When I got to my aunt's, my mom had pledged her to not let me go. Not let me go through the bridge in a saturday night, with rain, cold, and wind. But... I *had* to come. So I came anyway, even with the pleads. But... you know, fate doesn't LIKE to be twarted. Seems like I was to be there and do something with friends saturday night as I did friday, and earlier, sooo.... when I got home? NO NET!

I got angry and frustrated, but nothing I could do... so I just... dozed off, so tired I didn't even shower( rarity - cat no sleep while unclean!). The constant rain short-circuited one of our phone lines, the external one coming to my room...

Of course, today I fixed it.

Soo... I am back.

Even more addicted.

Life is good.... life is really, really good.

I love my life. I love my friends. I love my family. I love my lady...

M.Y.A.H.! =^..^=

.........

2004-07-12T02:04:28Z

I just spoke to my father on the phone....

I had forgotten what day was yesterday. July 10th.

[Well, what it was aside from Rin's birthday, that is!^^]

It was the day of the accident... the accident I was almost in, if I didn't ask to keep being on my grandma's house because of a cousin who would come buy, the guy who had written full amateur RPG sourcebooks( And now has a busy and obscenely well-paid job in aeronautic engineering. The things that begin mounting plastic models of airships...^^), a cousin I worshipped, pretty much. Staying there saved my life, since the passenger's seat was _totalled_. My father almost died on that, still bearing ugly scars on his leg...

My little sister did not.

I wonder if it is good or bad that I forgot about yesterday....

Myahm^..^

2004-07-07T08:01:34Z

Life.... is GOOD^_^

And feels better by the minute!

Now, here I am, listening to classic epicness, and a bit of that wonderful Suikoden remixes that are japanese-like.... myahm!

My mom got better. My brother has a job, if away from home( though that might benefit him... now, my surfer, womanizing brother as a motorcycle-riding teacher on the mountains... it's quite a change!^..^), Sel has begun a real-time Exalted game, I received my Exalted books( Player's Guide! Abyssals! Dragon-Blooded! Red and Black = Cool!), and in general, things are just looking.... well!^_^

Sel will even play in my game, which I am right now creating quite a bit on. Hope I won't screw up too bad, with everyone watching^^ Specially after some things I have said lately :o Oh well, Sel will play, all will play. This shall be fun^_^

Another day, another game tomorrow... *Looking foward for doing more of Janus. With Ciel, too!* Milady is as always a mistress of words and descriptions^^ Though she did make some flagrant mistakes.... but who doesn't. I have been a little mean on them, but here is my formal, and public, apology^^ May the game shake Rathless, milady. I am looking foward to it... alot^_^

Hmmm.... Exalted.

Hard to think of anything else nowdays....

No, wait, SEX!

Never forget sex =P

Dreaming the wrong Dream

2004-06-27T19:38:53Z

Hmmm.... I wish I had slept more.

Then again, after a day of barbecue and sun, I am already struggling with the need of sleeping these needy 3 or so hours more.... but it was good to say hello to the sun and live the morning, for once. And with my brother... and Paula. Seeing him giving Paula a chance warms my heart to no end... for too long has he sat here and let the memory, and phone calls, of Ana torment him. I know a 6-year-long relatonship leaves scars, but that bitch had messed up with him _enough_. And seeing someone so dedicated to him as Paula is being ignored( or, worse, used to warm a gaping void on his soul, and little more than that) hurt me. I tried to speak with him, but what can you do when your own brother says he can't be alone, he needs the warmth? but now he seems to be serious, and her... just seeing her calling him affectionate names, congratulate and adulate him so much... so cute!^_^

The day wasn't only productive, it was... relaxing. It made me relax, feel.... made me feel so much better with myself. Made me look at this from the outside, which I really, really needed. Made me remember old times... I know I am not that good at assuming things. Depending on the day and the hour you ask me, I may feel like a good person, who tries, or like the worst monster on the face of the earth. I am both, really. Or at least, I like to think so. Maybe there is just what I am and what I try to be....

I have told a few people what is it like, inside.... they don't know all the truth, of course. Not that it is that hard to figure out, I don't try to look puzzling or mysterious.... I am what I am... and despite my claims, I don't really want to be otherwise. I have a certain appreciation for all of my being, and none of the many shameful or dumb acts of my life I would really want rewritten. They got me so far, after all. And I try to learn from my mistakes. I try to change....

Is change always a good thing, though?

I remember when I believed in heroes. Fighting for something greater. Ideals.... wielding ideals like a sword. Cutting through the darkness. I grew up on that, you know... there was a military coup here on the sixties... and my brother was even born in Italy. My parents were sent there in exile, after fighting against it.... ultimately, it was won, of course, with politics and protests, even with the great number of people who simply... disappeared. In the end, it was done. That happened all around the world in that time, amidst the cold war and the socialist movements... alot of conservatives will probably snicker at that. They will also forget that they can act like they do, hear the music they do, and dress in the way they do, a good part because of victories won in those years, so these conservatives can go fuck themselves. With a hammer =P

((Of course, alot of people nowdays think that going into raves and filling yourself with ecstasy is some form of rebellion. Gah. That is pretty much accepted nowdays, everyone knows that, except for some parents that are worried, and rightly so =P Back then, when personal expression was held in bondage, it mattered, but right now, personal expression has even gone a little too far... just see modern art^^;; A person has already been freed, now the problem is to make the system work right, a work that actually needs one to be sober and on a suit, but what can be done... not like people really appreciate efforts, just use them as excuses.))

I believed in heroism, in fighting the shadow... heh, there are shadows. I have met violence in Rio often enough to know. I have heard tales of what the military did to my father and his friends often enough to know. I have looked inside me often enough to know. There are shadows, and they can be fought, subdued, and purged. You don't fear the shadows, you fight it. You play smart, you do not back down, and you fight. Until your last breath. The shadows hurt, the shadows feel. The shadows fear, oh, they fear. They fear the light.

I have had enough of hearing the contrary. Of hearing the sillyness of it. Of hearing of inevitability, even on imagination.... about how, even if I made, in something mine a light able to pierce the darkness without being a questionable army or an empire, it would sound silly. I heave heard alot. And I have noticed I heave to hear it alone. It is only _my_ dreams bondage, not on principle, no matter how convincing the arguments seemed.

Enough.

*Takes Ainerach on his hand, seeing it shining, waves of purple like liquid crystal running through the blade, down to its wing-shaped handle* It has been awhile...

To wield light once again,and fight back the shadows.

It has been a long while....

*Kisses his lady's hand* You may have told me many things... but you are also the reason I am this... the knight was here, but you made him... into what he is today... and the reason I am back. Thanks....^^

I'm not good at this.

2004-06-27T02:24:25Z

I seriously am NOT, really. I probably make boring posts >_>

Meh.

Oh, and, asteroids in the 6th mission of Homeworld = HATE!

It has been long enough.

2004-06-27T02:18:31Z

No, really. Enough of that. I will NOT neglect my LJ!

I guess I could speak of the fights I had recently with my parents... of my friend who took a bullet while taking his girlfriend home a little while back.... of my recent depression, and of the pandemonium happening to some of my friend's relationships, of my mom's recent sickness and my endless worry over it... of how my brother went into a trip to work as a teacher nearby, and came back today - to go back on wednesday. Now the family has two teachers, father and son. Go, bro! Or even of the shround of uncertainty that is my whole life right now. I know where I stand, but it's only my knowledge that makes that place, that tends to disappear when I step out of it. I will keep on knowing, until I make it real.

I guess I could speak of recent game ideas, of the Dragon-Blooded agents game I intend to DM, of Selina's Exalted games, both Sorrow's End, the grand forum one, and a simpler one in Rathless, and aspects in all of them that trouble me to no end.

I could even go on how I have bought the third SoIaF game, just waiting it to get here...

Or how I LOVE DISCWORLD!^_^ One of the funniest series I have read in a long while....

But I won't do any of that, just look at my LJ, pet it for a while, and say 'sorry'.

I am back.

Fear.

P.S. : Another Stark Person! Go, Autumn!

Awww, Catelyn was nice. She goes through quite a drama through all that... well, all Starks do, really. Gotta pity Bran, Sansa, Arya... even Robb, the poor boy I hope gets a personality sometime =P He had to do everything while basically being left alone, after all >_> Jon had it better until the end of the second book... I hope he won't have it _too_ bad by the end of the third...

Hey, Cersei and Jaime are people too! They got good reasons... and Tiwyn as their father. Cut them a little slack =P

Hmmm, stuff =P

2004-05-24T05:38:33Z

Hmmm, many, many MANY things have happened... one at a time.

How shall I put them...?

More on SAC!

I just love how it is flowing, the second season of Ghost in the Shell... I talked about the opening before, but more than that, the _style_! The series is made in the american series mold, not the japanese - that is, seasons( instead of new series.) with stand-alone episodes, each leaving its repercussions on the series, and some of them tying into an ongoing story, which shows through these episodes and culminates in the final story arc. Also done so there is the next season, it also doesn't try to blow up the world, make the ultimate powers, and that sort of thing any anime fan is properly used to. And that, I like.

But, the season 2 in special, is better designed, IMO. The opening is a special bonus, with the importance now spread between characters.... and nemesis, and side-characters outside of section 9. While the first season focused mainly on their job, and an investigation that gets a little too tricky, season 2 goes outside of their job, on a deep plot within the government, and even S9 is a puppet on its strings. There is a more involved story, with more impact on the characters themselves, along with coworkers, bosses and deadly nemesis, which makes season 1 looks like it was a character introduction before the story picked up its proper pace.... a pace I am *quite* enjoying.^^

More on A Song of Ice and Fire!

.... And so have I finished the second book. Well, it's been awhile already, but I forgot to post about it. VERY nice book... not just on the multifaceted, personal way I realised before, but also on the multiplicty of cultures in that world, religions, banners, habits, places.... to make such a diverse world without recurring to the favorites a) 'magical races' and b) 'magic', is quite a feat, one Martin did masterfully. He did tortured some characters a bit _too_ much( to the point where I was all but losing connection with them, and with it, almost dropping the book... but thankfully he softened that, and the reading became interesting again. Of course, I seem to be the only one who liked the Starks... but then again, I liked the Lannisters as well. I can say there were quite few characters I did _not_ care about... which is, again, quite a feat. Martin, I salute you^^

More on Exalted!

Exalted... addiction.... will.... not.... recede! :o

I keep being addicted to it... to the world... to Aidan.... to his life, his wife and daughter, to his purpose, to his sacrifices, his fate. Yes, he has barely been played so far. But still, I have daydreamed enough with his exploits, and argued enough about him with some people.... well, he has his problems. He has been a target of a tomato artillery that made me feel a bit what it must be like for Milady. I certainly do _not_ envy her, in that. Trying to see if I edit his bio properly... and do his characters excerpts! I did one already, detailing him in one of his most bratty moments, one that almost costed him his life, and his hands. I got a little carried away and it became quite loose, going into memories and into a dreamlike state in which we are not even sure where we stand, but still, I had fun writing it.

I want to play him SOON! But some people are still needed so it begins... some of which don't seem very interested..... I can understand having other things to do, but.... some people are here, and have been waiting to play that for quite a bit. It's not like the idea of the game hasn't been floating around for much more than a month, now! It is downright disheartening to see that some people are caring so little about the effort to make this work, the desire some have to play( _burning_ desire, on my case^^).... a pity, really.

Not that I ever expected everybody to get into the same things I did... never did.

But I at least expected those who signed in to be true to their words >_>

Hmmm, I should post the hard-to-follow Aidan piece here... yes!

... As soon as I figure out just how I place things to be viewed only inside the reply screen. Anybody can tell me?^^;;

Hmmm, colors!

2004-05-21T01:35:26Z

Colapso

Instructions:
1. Copy and paste this: [font color=fayvenheulyn][b]fayvenheulyn[/b][/font] into your journal.
2. Replace my username with yours.
3. Replace [] with <>

Cool!

2004-05-16T20:14:14Z

The opening of GiTS season 2 is.... the coolest thing EVER :o

Cooler than the opening of ROD, for those who thought it impossible!

Well, I did, at least^_~

It's... it's just.... cool!

The music, which is sung mostly in russian( same singer from season 1's opening, if you've seen it), and I copied from the opening's subs, it may be somewhat wrong( god knows .Hack's opening had both "How come I must know" and "Hacker's mind was lost" as alternate subs for the same sentence. And it was in _english_! Proof that, when it's sung, it doesn't matter if it's on a language you know =P), the separation is also arbitrary by me =P

"I am a Soldier, and it means that,
I am both the judge and the accused
I stand on both sides of the fire.
I cut around the turns
Overtaking life and death

I run to fight the shadow of lies
No matter how much deception is wrapped around it,
The light will make truth shine on its silhouette

Save your tears, for the day
When our pain is far behind
On your feet, Come with me
We are soldiers, stand or die

Save your fears, take your place
Save them for judgement day
Fast and free, follow me,
Time to make the sacrifice
We rise or fall"

Now, not only is this cool, but... the opening is in _anime_, with scenes from it, and focusing not only in Kusanagi - but on all members of S9! Yes, Batou, Aramaki, Togusa, Ishikawa, and, _yes_, even Paz, Boma, and Saitoh have their own moments, quite cool ones, indeed!^_^ And the antagonists have some spotlight too, they seem to have greater faces than in Season 1, and they seem _much_ more dangerous... all that with action, and that music. That makes me notice I know what to make of Aidan, more than ever before.

Myah!^_^

Hmmm, oh wait, there's much more!^_^

2004-04-27T23:32:47Z

Why are Image Boards so addicting?

I have spent so MUCH of my time on 4Chan.... and clogging my poor, poor HD with it^^;;

Been a time of many medias lately, hasn't it?

Addicted to Exalted... *See above!*

Finished reading Lodoss stuff, then read Berserk( Begins... gritty and stupid, really. Dark and gritty and stupid. Then, it becomes nice, full of comradership and politics and war, during a flashback... then, all dark-inquisition-like... and then, finally.... magic! Nature! A cute witch girl! A team of heroes! A grou pf cool, but evil, knights taking over the center of the world! It becomes... magic! And cool! And good! Guess it goes to prove... that, if you spend the effort... keep writing, creating a story... no matter how it begins, if you keep on the world, elaborate it, work on it, it will become good. And Berserk did. Serpico with Wind weapons = cool. Witchy girl = Kawaii. Berserker Armor = Cool. Witch magics = cool. Myah!), some Naruto( Yay for the Sand Ninjas! I mean, I never really liked them, but QUITE a plot twist!^^), and now, to take a break from epical, and go read Midori No Hibi before Aleph kills me =P

And also.... ASoIaF!

A Song of Ice and Fire, the name of the series.

"A Game of Thrones", the name of the book.

Myah.... GREAT series!

Many sides... many points of view. Many characters, and not really one main character, just many characters living and dying among the intrigue of the game of thrones. I have to say... few authors ever give reasons, and make me sympathize, with so many sides.... each and every one understandable, for good or greed, the desire to uphold honor, protect your loved ones... so many reasons, lives, emotions... very good, indeed. So many _lifes_, seeming so normal, so _alive_! The politics and the characters, so MANY characters, making the world come alive. A rich story, full of flashbacks and points of vision, sometimes, letting you decide who was right or wrong, good or villain. Don't expect a rigid black and white there, and not even grey : there, you will only find all colors of the rainbow^^'

- - - -

"Can a man still be brave if he is afraid?"

"That is the only time a man can be brave."

- - - - -

"You avenged Lyanna at the Trident" Ned said, halting beside the king. Promise me, Ned, she had whispered.

"That did not bring her back." Robert looked away, off into the grey distance. "The gods be damned... it was a hollow victory they gave me. A crown... it was the girl I prayed them for. Your sister, safe... and mine again, as she was meant to be. I ask you, Ned, what good is it to wear a crown? The gods mock the prayers of kings and cowherds alike"

- - - -

I wish I could remember more, but as milady says, I am an airhead, so I forget others....

But yes, there are many, many good quotes on this book^^

Unfortunately, though, against it, it suffers from the general 'golden rule' of all stories nowdays :

'The ammount of rudeness, grumpyness, ugliness and general lack of manners of a person is directly proportional to how strong and skillfull you are."

GODS, is that rule stupid.

And befor ethe anime-haters come jumping, that rule is pimped out WAY more in western fiction than in eastern : The educated, bishy villain is much more of an eastern cliche, after all. But man... how stupid is that. How rude or violent you are has no connection to how skillful you are in any martial way. Actually, in all places of fighting I have been to, those like that usually made some sort of trouble, had their asses kicked, and were kicked out. Any masters, of any sports, were always serene, calm. Gentle, even. Enforcing a shield of grumpiness and 'I am ready to kill you at any moment' just makes you wary socially - GREAT for intimidation, as the world keeps showing, but, when the person actually jumps on your throat, it is... the same as any. Actually, if he had to keep that shield up, then he probably isn't even that good. Being rude, violent and uncaring has no connection with how 'badass' or 'kickass' you are. Just makes you liable to rule over these that are frightened by you.

And be squashed under the foot when someone who isn't finally comes up.

But nooo....

Guess fiction knows best, eh? =P

Also, I bought KotOR!

Gotta try it sometime....

And lastly, anybody knows a trick to put thoughts into paper?

I have _Four_ short stories with Aidan on my mind so far, all written, all I need is to actually put it on paper! grrr!

colapso @ 2004-04-27T19:05:00

2004-04-27T22:05:00Z

I keep feeling like I am neglecting this journal way TOO much! >_>

Sooner or later, gotta keep some rhytm tro this... yes... sooner or later!

My days have been... _interesting_ since my last post.

Definetly emotional.... well, not that is news to anyone who knows me =P

I hurt one of the people dearest to me... and decided to go away. Sometimes, I feel I am incorrigible. No matter ow much I try.... I always make mistakes... often, the same kind. I decided to go away, for the best of them. Of that person... no use being around, no matter how much I like it, if it is to cause pain, is there? Of course, I had to come back... worried about something, needed to assure nothing bad would happen because of my decision... well, and I am still here. Talks and talks.... and I tend to forget the fun, when I am like that. To forget that maybe I can hurt people the most, by going away.... of course, I can smile now. Because, being around here... with her... with them... is where i want to be. Among other places, of course. So, all ended well.... as usual. The fires of emotion always die down peacefully, no matter how heated they burned just before... and am I thankful for that! ^..^

So, yes, I felt emotionally drained for awhile... but also, happy.

Been very happy lately.... carefree. Feels nice...^^

Still torn between letting the river take its course, or change the course of the river to where I want. In all levels. Sometimes, it's hard to know just how much you have to let things flow naturally. Guess a sage would say something about shaping waht comes naturally, making things just go where you want them to. I wish I had this control over the fire, even if my element is supposedly water/air in my sign. I wonder how much control I have on my own life, sometimes. I wonder... I had a point?

Been ADDICTED to Exalted!

I had(and still sorta have) a crisi of faith with it, but... man, the world RULES!

The concepts... the magics... the creatures.... the Wyld. Malfeas. The Iron Hells. The situation of the realm. The Threshold. Nexus. Rathless. All of it is so.... _wonderful_! Epic, turbulent, chaotic, orderly and political, all at once... and the EXALTED! I _love_ almost all the Solar castes! Aidan is my Dawn.... my sword of heaven, my warrior. I'm enthralled by him... I guess I could do a great Alex-like Zenith, a nifty Night caste ninja reminiscent of Janus to make those puny Sids learn what _assassin_ means, and a Eclipse caste who would walk into all realms and play dangerous games with the big ones.... of the others, I would certainly do a Chosen of Battles and Journeys, and actually, I could do a great Chosen of Secrets... with a smirk always crowning his lips, so Lucien-like, guarding his greatest secret with that power. Some cat-lunar WILL be done... and, of course, a Fire or Wood DB^^ And more, but that's just what came to mind... so far!

I would rather Yu Shan didn't exist, though.... or the whole godly thing. It.... cheapens the setting. Makes everything seem... small. Fake.

Mrah....

Oh well, I can just ignore it =P

Aidan is ALREADY in action! Gosh, I love playing him!^^ And with Lisanna, no less... she enthralled me as well.

Lisanna rules^^

http://selina.darksiren.net/forum/viewtopic.php?t=69

Their first thread, so far.... ooh, it was cool to play!^^ Yes, it was all rolled, even if we didn't post the rolls. oor Aidan lost 4 Health Levels there.... though he didn't feel most of the blows^^

http://selina.darksiren.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=384#384

Aidan's character sheet... seems bland compared to Lisanna's or Safire's( still to be posted), but oh well.

Anyway Exalted rules.

I just wish it would go on already >_>

I wish my family understood...

2004-04-13T22:46:21Z

... Yes, finally a post with a goth-like title! Wheee!

Mind, I should mention before I begin... that my life is a sea of roses. My family is nice, and bright... even my brother, who's a lazy, oppionated, drunk, smoker, womanizing( mind, not that is a bad thing =P) surfer, he's a azy, oppionated, drunk, smoker, womanizing surfer who loves me. We have nice talks, we like and help each other, when needed... when we are alone at home, we make junk food like pizzas and hot dogs together, or even more nutritive barbecues, while trying to find something people with almost opposite interests and views can talk about.... or play together with our cute, cute little brother... heck, it was my brother who helped me loosen up with him^^ Even my father, he may be a self-promoting, class-conscious, demanding and harsh man, but he does loves us... does give us most of what he has, specially to me... and self-promoting? Albeit annoying, the man has that right... he has done alot. Gotta respect someone who was an exec before he even entered college >_>

I like them, and we agree on some things... practical things, really. One needs to work to get money, yes. Money, resources, are needed for one to have a proper standing in life, yes... though not so much, but I tend to spend alot, so I need it =P But, on most basic matters... on the philosophy behinds life, in what drives a man, in what is needed for one to live... we disagree. And that disagreement makes it so they are unable to understand me. They find some of my life goals preposterous, illusory; They think they will just drive me insane. Why?

"A man needs to work to feel right with himself. It enhances the spirit!" Mrah. This came up when we were talking about some plans... some money might came up, for the family... something I am a beneficiary of, either way. My plans for my share of it, when asked... one of them include something that, using the fact, I am young and can wait four or five years, would have me just having money flowing in after a while, with no worries about living... I would try to work, so I get even more... but, they sensed that meant I could live off in relaxation, and argued the point... for them, a person can't feel right with him/herself, without it... they just don't get it. They may feel they aren't doing anything, but that doesn't hold true to me. Helping my friends... living my life... writing what I can, maybe a novel, someday( Something that looked so very close before my horizons became broader... but I want to create something, entertain others...), playing with my friends, talking, creating and dreaming... _loving_... hopefully seeing the fruits of that someday.... that is already enough. Heck, I have so many hobbies... they strangle me sometimes!

"A person needs to be doing something, to organize his time, his life" Of course, they see my time, my lack of routine, as a complete chaos. Isn't too far from that, but it's not unhealthy either... it's not like I _need_ to be doing sometihng or my time will go all nuts. Heck, my time went all nuts _while_ I did things! They just don't get it. I see my brother hanging with twenty year olds instead of his old gang because they are employed / married... while, if they meet him, they will envy his lifestyle and freedom, wanting to get into some of it... on money, he has more to spare than those employed but holding houses and families... I know that, because I have seen his old friends coming to him, wanting him to hang with them again, but he stayed away, feeling inferior because he was not employed and whatnot.... and then hanging with boys and getting drunk, exactly the thing that gets them to eye him oddly, not being employed or married... idiot >_> And my father's issues, I discussed earlier on this journal, if in a superficial manner.

They think I am like that, because they figure, everyone else must be like that! I can't really say I understand how their mind works, but at least I respect that their thinking holds true for them... but I wish, oh, I wish they would see mine holds true to me, as well! I am working towards going to college( for the knowledge, if for nothing else^^), then to work... in a slow pace, of course. I could rush things and be on college by next semester, but not like I want to spend less time with milady so soon! =P But that isn't the quitessence of my existence. There is more, and work in itself is just... means to an end. And the end, when I need to work, is to fix it so I won't have to work later. And when I am sitting leisurely... I won't have any problem with it! I don't need work to keep me sane...

... Not like I am ever sane, anyway =P

Ooh, and happy easter, all!

Hope you enjoyed your chocolates^..^

Am I going to hell?

2004-04-10T02:50:39Z

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

Hmmm.... probably.

Rubi, you bad boy...

Ooh, and in-depth description of my new home.....

Second Level of Hell

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

I am back!^_^

2004-04-06T22:40:05Z

Mist, where I couldn't see anything in front of the car save for an indisticnt bright white in what could be the road or a cliff.... rain, falling heavily with it...... and.... cold, unbearable COLD!

That can only mean ONE thing!

That I went to the mountains to visit my cute lil' brother!

Three years old and four months old now, his hair dirty blonde like mine was when I was very little(now it's a dark brown which by any lights save clear, is black as night itself), happy, cheerful, and energetic as only a cute little toddler can be! When I came there, he was all wrapped in his bedsheets, sometimes like a pancake and sometimes like a mummy, 'hiding' from us in his usual shyness.... next day, I was woken up by him saying my name in that cute little voice and almost jumping over my bed. By then, he had already tired out my brother( since I spent until late night with milady on their comp and a shitty browser-based ICQ...) and proceeded to do the same thing to me. But... it was so fun! And so cute.... just hearing him say, "You came, right? To play with me?", "Let's build a tunnel!" "Yes, the two brothers tunnel, Daniel and Jõao Luis!" and... kept repeating our names... I thought I wasn't good with children... but, it's just letting go, right? And say whatever comes to mind, laugh, give them emotion and attention. The rest comes naturally...^^

My little brother...

Mwah, and I felt... well.... he's three, right? 18 years younger than me... just like... well, he could very well be... he is my brother, I play with him like a brother, but it seems there will always be a father/uncle tinge to my side of it... and, it made me feel so.. I don't know... made me wish for having a child, someday. Doesn't fit the irresponsible lil' me, now, does it? Carefree.... but I felt, that someday I want to be a father. I tasted a simple sip of what that must be like... and I liked it. Warmed my heart, in a new way....

Myahm.....

Also, it was the first time I ever noticed.... how HUGE that place is! :o

Until I was 7, and from 10 to 12... I spent every weekend there, almost. It was like... my own backyard. So, I never noticed how the estate that has... one manse( of my father's wife, Tina's, father.), one big house( hers', and on her part having a sauna, an atelier, my father's study above the atelier, a 'farm', ) a river running through, a pool, a soccer field, and a smaller house.... was so freakin' HUGE! It was always the place dad lived, with Tina, and her children, pretty much brothers-in-law for me... I always took that naturally. Now, I think all these talks about money, about buying things, working, about how I will live... and I looked around, when in the river.... and all the grandeur of all that sunk in.

I sure hope I am not becoming too class-conscious... I never have really been before, and I wouldn't want to ever become... not to the level of my father, who wanted to be truthful to his socialist beliefs, eve nwith the rich woman liking him, that he made things hell to her family and her, fighting with them alot.... he never really bounded with her kids, in pretty much 18 years together.... always gets into tense situations on his stubborness to be self-suficient, always wanting to have an escape route... I can't believe Tina loves him so much to put up with all of that, even with being as wonderful as he is the rest of the time... and I know he's from a patriarchy and can't feel right being at anyone's mercy, specially his wife's, and is all about his work allowing him to live on his own.... but, that doesn't excuse. And he ended up getting class-conscious there, treating servants badly in a way the rich ones don't do! >_< Mrah.... I sure, surely hope I will never get like that.....

Although, many of the problems I find out when me and milady argue, and fix.... I see they are his'.

It scares me, seriously does....

But that place is _huge_!

Also, I hope Mieu will be on mIRC today... *Worried about her* I have seen your posts lately, on both journals, lots of stress.... When you are relaxed, do say hi, alright? And even if you don't, know that the knight is here, wishing you to feel better, and all the stress to pass!

Myah!^..^

2004-04-02T05:21:38Z

So it is that ROD TV ended!

....With philosophy, no less.

Not that I don't like people to have reasons for what they do, but... it's ROD! I expected crazy and imaginative battles, great final bangs, things to explode and people to have superbly-animated crazy fights. And I got disappointed. It had 'action', but it wasn't the maniacal fights ROD was famous with me for having.... and didn't explain anything on Donny! And methinking he would be one of the great villains.... oh, well. Not that it wasn't nice... and people actually CARED for Junior!^_^

And it is.... interesting, to say the least, that the blonde older sister got together with the little l33t destined boy with clear hair and scarlet eyes, in the end.

Well, amusing, to me, at least!

Had a nice evening on #Tower, too, though it sorta died out after Jon went away, and Mieu did, too.... gotta crowd that place more often! It's fun to join all these people, and see people like Arcy and Asthie amidst it... a pity milady wasn't around, or it would be much mroe fun. Next time, I hope. Next time...

Finished Aidan.

My Dragonborn - turned - Solar. An Anathema from deep within the dinasty....

Poor boy^^;

All set and ready!

And....

Mwah, I want to PLAY! And soon. Or I hope it will be soon. Itching to go into action with Aidan...

And crush darkness with the shining blade of the celestial cat warrior..... =^..^=

And last, but not least, milady wrote a dramatic DA excerpt! One that got me feeling... emotional. Teary-eyed, even. Go Selina!^_^

And Arcy did one excerpt that is just... one piece of wonderful routine. Your powers of making everyday seem magical are really something!

Erm... so there. A whole bunch of randomness!

Happy April's Fools, everyone! =P

P.S. : April's Fools.... and I didn't make a single joke. I remembered the day, but all jokes that came to me seemed so.... mean.

Feels like a year wasted, in a way....

WHY?!?

2004-03-25T00:18:52Z

........ WHY?!?

Why must this happen? >_<

Murphy's law.... I hate when this damn thing holds true!

This week, of all times... her spring break, when she doesn't have classes, nothing to take her time, to make her grumpy... This time, of ALL times! .... And I can't stay connected for more than 5 mins. It doesn't even get to _one_ minute, at times... and my dear family, kings of generalization, told me today how I "Keep kicking stuff whenever this happens", god, one time I get angry after four or so days of this frustrating situation and I decide to punch some things, then it becomes something that I do all the time? Wha?!?

Not to mention so close to opening "Sorrow's End", her Exalted campaign... *Has worked diligently on his bio* I think I will put it up around here soon... hope it turns out ok!

Now, hear me you damned 'net... it's her spring break, so if you want to break, to it in the damned NEXT week >_

Me, in the immortal Tarot( Pity its not the X one!)

2004-03-20T17:13:46Z

You are the Lovers card. The Lovers card is about
union. Each of us carries in our DNA the
ability to be the opposite of what we think we
are. Often our romantic attachments grow out of
awe and respect as we see in another the
characteristics we repress in ourselves.
Society often presses us into molds of what it
thinks masculinity and femininity should be. As
a result, many of us associate with our gender
certain positive characteristics and call
others negative, when if these same qualities
were held by a person of the opposite sex, our
attitude towards them would be reversed.
Getting in touch with our inner animus and
anima, (Jung's terms for our inner male and
female), allows us to see the whole of our
personalities in a positive and constructive
light. When you draw The Lovers card in a
reading, you are working with balancing these
forces. Depending on where the card is, you
have either achieved balance or need to. The
Lovers could indicate a romantic or even a
platonic relationship. Ask yourself is this is
a positive relationship that contributes to
your growth as a complete human being, or if it
fills an emotional craving within you that is
actually detrimental to your personal growth.
Image from: The Iranian artist Riza.
http://www.metmuseum.org/collections/view1.asp?dep=14&item=50%2E164

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fitting, is it not?

Then again, I also thought, might I be the Sun, or the Chariot as well? Or the Hanged Man? ^_~

*Makes the test again, changes two answers*

You are the Sun card. The light of the Sun reveals
all. The Sun is joyful and bright, without fear
or reservation. The childish nature of the Sun
allows you to play and feel free. Exploration
can truly take place in the light of day when
nothing is hidden. The Sun's rays fill you with
energy so that you may live life to its
fullest, milking pleasure out of each day. Such
joy and energy can bring wealth and physical
pleasure. To shine in the light of day is to
have confidence, to soak up its rays is to feel
the freedom of a child. Image from: Stevee
Postman. http://www.stevee.com/

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

There, I knew it^_^

The SUN! Both are fitting, methinks.... that is me. That, and what came before, on that name thing.... my faith in these things has certainly been restored( not that the fae's tarot-reading to me hadn't shown me the truth in it all, but then again... it's different than an online thingy^^;;) Of course, even if these cards are what I AM, sometimes I feel like WHERE I am, is the Hanged Man. I probably need Death.... otherwise, I might as well die....

Hmmm, I wonder what you will get, Milady? The Empress? The Moon?

=^..^=

I guess I will just enjoy myself.... I don't say I am happy for what life is. Not right now...

.......But I have to accept it! And have all the fun I can!

Also addicted to Exalted. But let's get to it later...^^

And now for some indignated thoughts.

2004-03-12T20:55:37Z

( The conversation that begins the rant is about an anime series running nowdays, by the way....)

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*Sighs* I hate nowdays' sexism...

Say, suppose you have 2 lovers.

The man is a secret agent, and the woman is a 'guest' of his agency.

She was a villain, and gives birth to the child of the villain...

The agency takes the baby away.

The man goes complain with him, and, on completely unrelated reasons, goes tetsuo and blows up the agency, killing people, screwing over a country and lots of other people....

Then, out of fear, and wanting to be together with hsi love, flees to a secret love den and spends time with her, telling her her child is dead.

What would you say of that?

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I say the man was a selfish asshole. =P

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Then said child appears, a 13-year-old boy raised on an emotion-less enviroment to be a super-soldier, not knowing about friends, birthdays, or anything of the like, but being a l33t soldier.

Following orders. he's on the forefront crashes mommy's party, but defects to her side, saving her and co. Then, 'mommy', who didn't give him any real affection after getting to know him, goes,

"Why did you have to appear? We were so happy together, before you all showed up! Why did you have to show up in our life?"

The boy, VERY modderately, methinks( _I_ would have broken up in tears and shot her many times at point-blank range), goes,

"Why do _I_ have to exist?!? I didn't ask to be born! You were in love with a man who wanted to destroy the world! Why do _I_ have to live this life? To suffer for _your_ crimes? You are NOT my mother!!"

_He_ got slapped, by one other of the mains. Because he 'shouldn't say that'.

And why's does that ties into sexism?

Because since the 'selfish asshole' is a cute girl wanting her lesbian love, all was forgiven and people told her she 'did the right thing!' since mother and son were _eventually_ reunited, with the mom not even much into it, and it was condoned, not only in the series, but by the fans. And according to many of them, the boy is a 'whiny brat' >_< I have seen the same attittude taken by males, running off while lying to the females, and seen what they got. I have seen fathers telling daughters the equivalent of that and being seen as supreme assholes. But when its the other way around, its ok, riiiight?

*Sighs*

'When a male punches a female, it's called abuse.

When a female punches a male, it's called self-defense.'

It's always like that, nowdays... just as the fact that discrimination against women is the most heinous crime nowdays, but males, _masculinity_ itself, is bashed all the time, by men and women alike. So much its not even funny anymore... Yes, I understood women were opressed for ages, but it's not like the opposite should happen nowdays. And I also know as far as practical goes it is not, and it's pretty much still bad for the females, but as far as general opinion and relationships go... seems like all the characteristics inherent to the animus are depicable and evil t seems like the male archetype, its very idea, is being punished for what came before. Like being a male is being on probation. And it reflected on alot of what I like or identify with, always. Yes, I am a male. Proud to be so. And any attittude I take is not going to be worth less, or be more likable to be condemned, just because it was taken by a male rather than a female.

*Clenches fist* Yes, I have seen and dealt with many depicable males. Just how I have with many depicable females... with many _people_, which is what they all are in the end. Different, of course, but Anima and Animus have wonderful traits that complete one another. At least, that's how I see it. It's a pity when people forget all those on one side, specially when its on yours. A real pity to be judged as an asshole just because I'm a 'guy', or to be considered an exception.

For I am neither, even considering how rare empathic types like me seem to be, much to my surprise.

But then again, when it comes naturally for you, you always imagine it does to everyone else.

Oh, well.

*Leaves the rant and goes eat a barbecue*

Yawns Happilly My trip, what can I say...

2004-03-06T21:09:07Z

First Day

- Rent of four tapes on blockbuster( Pirates of the caribean, Sen to Chihiro No Kamikakuchi[Spirited Away for you guys], The Medallion[ Or : "Jackie, retire now and save yourself from sinking LOWER, ok?"] and Catch me if you can[Nice movie, wanted my cousin to see it]) - R$ 26
- A pot of classy ice cream, 'crunchy cream'... yum! - R$ 13
- My monthly surplus of Mangas and comics - R$30
- Relaxing together with my cousin, watching movies, eating well and being spoiled by my aunt like old times - Priceless

Second Day

- Helping out with my aunt's supermarket stuff - R$ 40
- Philadelphia rolls bought on the stand there - R$ 14
- Spend hours looking for Terry Prachett's Color of Magic just to know all bookstores close to my cousin's either dun have it, or have sold out - Priceless

Third Day

- A big combinated Sushi/sashimi/etc. bought on a REAL restaurant, this time, not a supermarket stand - R$52
- Watching Chihiro with cousin, two other friends and assorted girlfriends while they smoked their weed and commented on how trippy the movie was - Priceless

There are things money just can't buy.

For all others, aside from bus, cabs, newspapers and drugs, there's MasterCard^^

( Yes, the damned commercials were on me mind all the time there. And I DID buy all these with mine^^;;)

On related news, I AM BACK!

( Can you notice?^^)

Also, I guess I should mention one thing.

I thought mankind as a whole had lost the mental ability, the proper mental stimulation, and the proper mix of drugs to make something as weird as Alice in wonderland

"Spirited Away" proved me wrong. Dead wrong. That's nonsensical, psychodelic, and just plain WEIRD in all ways a sane mind could NOT think of.

It's wonderful.

And 'Pirates".... well, I think milady said it BEST : "Jack Sparrow is l33t". And he is. And the movie is. It's so... unpretentious. Not trying to be anything more than it is(Fun) it manages to be what it is(FUN!) to perfection, being, then... FUN!! When Sparrow came to the port on a sinking boat, I knew he was fun( Johny Depp, too, what'd you expect?^^), when he begun the sword match with William.... heck. Not matrix ripoff, not orientalized.... nope. It was a simple, wonderfully simple fencing match, devoid of fancier tricks than what two good swordsmen and a smart pirate could pull. It sent shivers through my spine. And they kept there as I laughed and enjoyed the movie. They still know how to make good adventures. They still do.

And.... wow. Five comments. That's a record, I guess^^

Your LJ RPG Team
LJ Username
Sex
Favorite Color
Weapon of Choice
Your Partner	kazuki_shoju
Your Warrior	rensei
The Giggly, Flirtatious Magic User with Big Breasts	scyllaopal
The Talking Animal	rensei
Main Archenemy	krumbo316
Evil Incarnate	selina_windia

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